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MY STORY: Mine was a marriage made in hell

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By SONI KANAKE
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Christine Kinyua, 44, has endured emotional abuse, survived a brain tumour, and had a taste of true love, though short-lived. A nurse by profession, she felt the need to run away from heartbreak, negative energy and anything that threatened her peace of mind. She tells her story to Soni Kanake.

“My name is Christine Kinyua, a mother of two and a nurse at MP Shah Hospital, Nairobi. Today, I can confidently say life is good after having navigated several curveballs and healed of the emotional wounds I had sustained along the way.

I got married to a man who accepted my daughter and being young, I figured I had the whole world ahead of me to enjoy life. I was working in Rwanda but my husband and I always made time for each other as I would visit or he would come over.

However, he fell into the habit of always putting me down. He would tell me that I wasn’t a good mother and that my daughter had picked negative traits from me. This continued emotional bashing was slowly destroying my soul but at the time all I wanted was for my marriage to work.

We had good times and really bad times. I frequently called home, especially to monitor my daughter’s progress who was in the care of her step-dad and nanny. However, I started getting suspicious when I noticed that every evening I called my husband, he would tell me that ‘we’ are watching movies. Hmmm … Alarm bells went off; I knew my daughter was asleep so it dawned on me that he usually sat up late with the nanny watching movies.

My sixth sense told me there was trouble in paradise but I didn’t pay it much heed. One day during my visits to Kenya, we were chatting with the house-help when she received a message on her phone from my husband who wanted her to take his suits to the dry-cleaners. So she was shamelessly asking me to get her my husband’s suits from our bedroom. I was heartbroken and wondered why he could not text me instead. I could not help but wonder what else he was hiding from me.

Our relationship was punctuated with accusations and counter-accusations. Every time I was around, there was a fight about a certain girl or suggestive late-night texts. I also realised he did not want people to know he was married because when we went to church, his friends were shocked he had a wife. It wasn’t all gloom as we got our son in 2009.

We were also keen on saving as a family and I would send him $1,000 (Approxmately Sh80,000) every month for our kitty. I remember once while he was in Kigali I asked him how much we had saved. He stammered and was not forthright and up until today I have no idea what happened to about Sh860,000 I had sent him. My heart sunk and I realised he was not only abusing me emotionally but financially as well. When I think about it today, I never got a coin from a chicken project I had financed back home.

Before I met him, he had accumulated debt on his credit card but did not mention it. One day while I was in Rwanda, he sent me a text message claiming that he needed a loan for a certain project that was to benefit us as a family. He wanted Sh80,000 and since I hadn’t been paid, I was a bit hesitant. He became manipulative telling me to stay with my money.

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I loved him too much and money was not going to come in between us so after payday, I wired him Sh100,000 only for him to confess later that the money was for his credit card. This new level of betrayal pierced my heart like a sword and I cried until my colleagues thought I had lost someone back home. The pain was surreal. How could he do this to me? I kept asking myself over and over again.

I relocated to Kenya in 2011 but working on our marriage was proving futile as there was always something to fight about. I had opened a clinic but it wasn’t doing too well. Meanwhile, I was getting stressed, which was compounded by a nagging headache that was not responding to painkillers.

I sought medical attention but to no avail until one day I decided to have an MRI on my own volition without a doctor’s prescription. The results were shocking as they revealed that I had a meningioma (brain tumour) that needed to be removed. Thankfully it was benign and I had a successful surgery late 2015.

Sometimes you have to run to survive and that was what I did when I realised my marriage wasn’t working. I decided it was enough and it was time to walk away.

The emotional pain was too much to bear and left me yearning for a place to call home; a place to belong. I remember running from church to church in a bid to find solace. I tried running to the pubs too but the wine did not bring that sense of fulfilment and peace my troubled soul was seeking. I ended up in my sister’s house and stayed with her until I was back on my feet again.

My daughter was already in boarding school and she did not see me going through the anguish. I remember my friends pushing me to sue my now ex-husband for child support but I did not want to. What if he refused to honour the court orders and I had to keep chasing him to pay up? To save my heart from such agony, I chose to let him be.

On the other hand, he still kept tabs on my life. He would visit while I was away and tell the house-girl to inform him on my daily activities. He would write me insulting text messages which I would return with a double dose of hatred until I realised it was draining me emotionally and stopped responding to him.

I had to dig an imaginary grave and bury him so as to move on. I had to forget he existed and realise that my children depended on me. My healing journey was not easy but I was lucky to have understanding and non-judgmental friends who made it easier.

I have documented my life story in a book, Nurse on the Run, which is in book stores, as a way of healing and also to encourage a woman going through what I did.

I found love in February 2017 but unfortunately he was snatched away from me by death in barely a year. He became terminally ill and I was there for him every day until he breathed his last. I guess some things are just kept as memories.



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Sordid tale of the bank ‘that would bribe God’

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Bank of Credit and Commerce International. August 1991. [File, Standard]

“This bank would bribe God.” These words of a former employee of the disgraced Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI) sum up one of the most rotten global financial institutions.
BCCI pitched itself as a top bank for the Third World, but its spectacular collapse would reveal a web of transnational corruption and a playground for dictators, drug lords and terrorists.
It was one of the largest banks cutting across 69 countries and its aftermath would cause despair to innocent depositors, including Kenyans.
BCCI, which had $20 billion (Sh2.1 trillion in today’s exchange rate) assets globally, was revealed to have lost more than its entire capital.
The bank was founded in 1972 by the crafty Pakistani banker Agha Hasan Abedi.
He was loved in his homeland for his charitable acts but would go on to break every rule known to God and man.
In 1991, the Bank of England (BoE) froze its assets, citing large-scale fraud running for several years. This would see the bank cease operations in multiple countries. The Luxembourg-based BCCI was 77 per cent owned by the Gulf Emirate of Abu Dhabi.  
BoE investigations had unearthed laundering of drugs money, terrorism financing and the bank boasted of having high-profile customers such as Panama’s former strongman Manual Noriega as customers.
The Standard, quoting “highly placed” sources reported that Abu Dhabi ruler Sheikh Zayed Sultan would act as guarantor to protect the savings of Kenyan depositors.
The bank had five branches countrywide and panic had gripped depositors on the state of their money.
Central Bank of Kenya (CBK) would then move to appoint a manager to oversee the operations of the BCCI operations in Kenya.
It sent statements assuring depositors that their money was safe.
The Standard reported that the Sheikh would be approaching the Kenyan and other regional subsidiaries of the bank to urge them to maintain operations and assure them of his personal support.
It was said that contact between CBK and Abu Dhabi was “likely.”
This came as the British Ambassador to the UAE Graham Burton implored the gulf state to help compensate Britons, and the Indian government also took similar steps.
The collapse of BCCI was, however, not expect to badly hit the Kenyan banking system. This was during the sleazy 1990s when Kenya’s banking system was badly tested. It was the era of high graft and “political banks,” where the institutions fraudulently lent to firms belonging or connected to politicians, who were sometimes also shareholders.
And even though the impact was expected to be minimal, it was projected that a significant number of depositors would transfer funds from Asian and Arab banks to other local institutions.
“Confidence in Arab banking has taken a serious knock,” the “highly placed” source told The Standard.
BCCI didn’t go down without a fight. It accused the British government of a conspiracy to bring down the Pakistani-run bank.  The Sheikh was said to be furious and would later engage in a protracted legal battle with the British.
“It looks to us like a Western plot to eliminate a successful Muslim-run Third World Bank. We know that it often acted unethically. But that is no excuse for putting it out of business, especially as the Sultan of Abu Dhabi had agreed to a restructuring plan,” said a spokesperson for British Asians.
A CBK statement signed by then-Deputy Governor Wanjohi Murithi said it was keenly monitoring affairs of the mother bank and would go to lengths to protect Kenyan depositors.
“In this respect, the CBK has sought and obtained the assurance of the branch’s management that the interests of depositors are not put at risk by the difficulties facing the parent company and that the bank will meet any withdrawal instructions by depositors in the normal course of business,” said Mr Murithi.
CBK added that it had maintained surveillance of the local branch and was satisfied with its solvency and liquidity.
This was meant to stop Kenyans from making panic withdrawals.
For instance, armed policemen would be deployed at the bank’s Nairobi branch on Koinange Street after the bank had announced it would shut its Kenyan operations.
In Britain, thousands of businesses owned by British Asians were on the verge of financial ruin following the closure of BCCI.
Their firms held almost half of the 120,000 bank accounts registered with BCCI in Britain. 
The African Development Bank was also not spared from this mess, with the bulk of its funds deposited and BCCI and stood to lose every coin.
Criminal culture
In Britain, local authorities from Scotland to the Channel Islands are said to have lost over £100 million (Sh15.2 billion in today’s exchange rate).
The biggest puzzle remained how BCCI was allowed by BoE and other monetary regulation authorities globally to reach such levels of fraudulence.
This was despite the bank being under tight watch owing to the conviction of some of its executives on narcotics laundering charges in the US.
Coast politician, the late Shariff Nassir, would claim that five primary schools in Mombasa lost nearly Sh1 million and appealed to then Education Minister George Saitoti to help recover the savings. Then BoE Governor Robin Leigh-Pemberton condemned it as so deeply immersed in fraud that rescue or recovery – at least in Britain – was out of the question.
“The culture of the bank is criminal,” he said. The bank was revealed to have targeted the Third World and had created several “institutional devices” to promote its operations in developing countries.
These included the Third World Foundation for Social and Economic Studies, a British-registered charity.
“It allowed it to cultivate high-level contacts among international statesmen,” reported The Observer, a British newspaper.
BCCI also arranged an annual Third World lecture and a Third World prize endowment fund of about $10 million (Sh1 billion in today’s exchange rate).
Winners of the annual prize had included Nelson Mandela (1985), sir Bob Geldof (1986) and Archbishop Desmond Tutu (1989).
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Monitor water pumps remotely via your phone

Tracking and monitoring motor vehicles is not new to Kenyans. Competition to install affordable tracking devices is fierce but essential for fleet managers who receive reports online and track vehicles from the comfort of their desk.

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Agricultural Development Corporation Chief Accountant Gerald Karuga on the Spot Over Fraud –

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Gerald Karuga, the acting chief accountant at the Agricultural Development Corporation (ADC), is on the spot over fraud in land dealings.

ADC was established in 1965 through an Act of Parliament Cap 346 to facilitate the land transfer programme from European settlers to locals after Kenya gained independence.

Karuga is under fire for allegedly aiding a former powerful permanent secretary in the KANU era Benjamin Kipkulei to deprive ADC beneficiaries of their land in Naivasha.

Kahawa Tungu understands that the aggrieved parties continue to protest the injustice and are now asking the Ethics and Anti-corruption Commission (EACC) and the Directorate of Criminal Investigations (DCI) to probe Karuga.

A source who spoke to Weekly Citizen publication revealed that Managing Director Mohammed Dulle is also involved in the mess at ADC.

Read: Ministry of Agriculture Apologizes After Sending Out Tweets Portraying the President in bad light

Dulle is accused of sidelining a section of staffers in the parastatal.

The sources at ADC intimated that Karuga has been placed strategically at ADC to safeguard interests of many people who acquired the corporations’ land as “donations” from former President Daniel Arap Moi.

Despite working at ADC for many years Karuga has never been transferred, a trend that has raised eyebrows.

“Karuga has worked here for more than 30 years and unlike other senior officers in other parastatals who are transferred after promotion or moved to different ministries, for him, he has stuck here for all these years and we highly suspect that he is aiding people who were dished out with big chunks of land belonging to the corporation in different parts of the country,” said the source.

In the case of Karuga safeguarding Kipkulei’s interests, workers at the parastatals and the victims who claim to have lost their land in Naivasha revealed that during the Moi regime some senior officials used dubious means to register people as beneficiaries of land without their knowledge and later on colluded with rogue land officials at the Ministry of Lands to acquire title deeds in their names instead of those of the benefactors.

Read Also: Galana Kulalu Irrigation Scheme To Undergo Viability Test Before Being Privatised

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“We have information that Karuga has benefitted much from Kipkulei through helping him and this can be proved by the fact that since the matter of the Naivasha land began, he has been seen changing and buying high-end vehicles that many people of his rank in government can’t afford to buy or maintain,” the source added.

“He is even building a big apartment for rent in Ruiru town.”

The wealthy officer is valued at over Sh1.5 billion in prime properties and real estate.

Last month, more than 100 squatters caused scenes in Naivasha after raiding a private firm owned by Kipkulei.

The squatters, who claimed to have lived on the land for more than 40 years, were protesting take over of the land by a private developer who had allegedly bought the land from the former PS.

They pulled down a three-kilometre fence that the private developed had erected.

The squatters claimed that the former PS had not informed them that he had sold the land and that the developer was spraying harmful chemicals on the grass affecting their livestock and homes built on a section of the land.

Read Also: DP Ruto Wants NCPB And Other Agricultural Bodies Merged For Efficiency

Naivasha Deputy County Commissioner Kisilu Mutua later issued a statement warning the squatters against encroaching on Kipkuleir’s land.

“They are illegally invading private land. We shall not allow the rule of the jungle to take root,” warned Mutua.

Meanwhile, a parliamentary committee recently demanded to know identities of 10 faceless people who grabbed 30,350 acres of land belonging to the parastatal, exposing the rot at the corporation.

ADC Chairman Nick Salat, who doubles up as the KANU party Secretary-General, denied knowledge of the individuals and has asked DCI to probe the matter.

Email your news TIPS to [email protected] or WhatsApp +254708677607. You can also find us on Telegram through www.t.me/kahawatungu

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William Ruto eyes Raila Odinga Nyanza backyard

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Deputy President William Ruto will next month take his ‘hustler nation’ campaigns to his main rival, ODM leader Raila Odinga’s Nyanza backyard, in an escalation of the 2022 General Election competition.

Acrimonious fall-out

Development agenda

Won’t bear fruit

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