Loading...
GABRIEL OGUDA

By GABRIEL OGUDA
More by this Author

There is this famous Kenyan who capitalises on every chance he gets to remind us that Kenya has no shortage of stupid people.

Indeed, we are witnessing a flurry of men and women pulling ridiculous stunts for cheap social media fame and political fortune.

Just this week, a Member of the Kiambu County Assembly (MCA) found himself in the soup for pimping his campaign van in dull colours and crowning it with a portrait of Deputy President William Ruto in a military fatigue, being depicted as Commander-in-Chief.

We have had concerns about our MCAs not being the sharpest tools in the box, but you have to be hopelessly brainless to carve out Dr Ruto’s head and plant it on the official uniform of the Commander-In-Chief of the Defence Forces, when the real holder of that position is still alive and has shown no signs that he needs help.

People have been forcefully deported from this country for less.

If you really wanted to show us that you don’t love your life any more, why hide behind Dr Ruto’s patched up photo?

You could have hurled a stone inside your nearest police station and received the same feedback from the government.

You can’t be a coward and famous at the same time. Choose one struggle and stick to it.

That MCA has clearly been spending time in the wrong company.

He should sit down with one of the remaining figureheads of the second liberation of this country for quick tips on how not to get your brains boiled when you can avoid it.

He will be told that there used to be a time in this country when making a two-finger salute alone could have led to your torture and detention without trial.

The one-party state then had a powerful disciplinary committee before which grown men appeared, often on trumped up charges, and were whipped like stray dogs at a village funeral.

Cabinet ministers wept before it, and if you were expelled from the party, that was the end of your political career — and your life in general.

You could not even get a job anywhere let alone live in peace while still inside Kenya’s borders.

Loading...

That ruling party, which doubled up as the government of the day, was, literally, terror in motion.

That MCA should thank his lucky stars his party is yet to summon him before the disciplinary committee to explain what he meant by replacing the President’s head with that of his Deputy.

These are the things that MCA should’ve learnt in history books, but he was too busy distressing his van with police cases. Now both he and the van have been locked up until further notice.

Kenyans have sent MCAs for benchmarking trips abroad hoping they’d revise their History and Civics notes as they sample exotic cuisine.

But if this is the return on investment we are getting after building the capacity of our county parliamentarians, then we are left with no choice but to agree with those clamouring for the referendum when they say we have to do away with MCAs who don’t know what to do with public money.

Kenyans cannot be worrying about how we’ll repay the China loan and still have time for troublemaking MCAs who were sleeping in class when they should have been learning what the law says on national symbols and emblems.

No Kenyan went to school for anyone, and ignorance isn’t our portion either.

There has to be a penalty imposed on Kenyans who knowingly get themselves on the wrong side of the law and end up wasting our time in courts, creating a backlog of cases just for cheap publicity.

Kenyans are crying for more serious cases to be expedited and some MCA is wasting the court’s time with a photo that can’t even be presented for grading in a graphics design class for beginners.

There are many ways of gaining fame in this country — but this really shouldn’t be one of them.

If the MCA wanted to attract the attention of Dr Ruto, he should just have converted that moody van into a roadside chicken selling kiosk and driven it to Harambee House Annex for a photo op.

If you really love someone so much as to imagine them as your Commander-in-Chief, please buy your own country and employ them to defend it.

We have very many jobless people in this country and we’d be happy if you kept some of them busy on your property.

Loading...