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MAN IN THE HOOD: Why I quit betting

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By PHILIP ETEMESI
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In my fantasy life, I am a sinewy, impish British man who has a crisp accent, dates a beautiful Latina woman, drives an Aston Martin Volante and happens to be a best-selling author like Robert Ludlum.

That’s not all. I also happen to lead a secret life as a spy who speaks 11 languages, including the Khoisan dialect. Basically, I picture myself as a wildly successful writer who is a part-time James Bond.

Such a combination is unlikely to ever happen but isn’t that what fantasies are for?

When I am bored, I also like imagining myself in a Casino in Marbella, Spain. I picture myself sipping a double Martini as I gamble and win millions. Next to me, my Venezuelan girlfriend applauds and congratulates me with the words “Felicidades mi amor!” (Congratulations my love!)

In reality, I am just Etemesi from Kakamega County. I have no best-selling book and the closest I have come to dating a Latina is when I hooked up with a girl called Gabriela back in my college days.

She told me her mother was from somewhere in South America but she left her dad when she was still young.

My foolish self believed her and went on to brag. Not a day would pass without me boring my friends with tales of her. Gabriela this, Gabriela that. It became a song. I mean, she really had that light complexion.

It turned out she was from Kaloleni and Gabriela wasn’t even her real name. She was called Prudence. And she normally spoke concentrated Sheng that she would expertly conceal whenever she was with me.

Still, I kept on fantasizing.

They say it’s foolish to just dream without doing anything to make the dream a reality, so this past weekend, I decided to make one of my dreams a reality – gambling. Since I couldn’t go to a casino in Marbella the most realistic thing to do was to bet on football.

What took me so long? Unlike many anti-gamblers, I don’t consider betting to be farcical and unnecessary. I am just one of those people who have a fear of losing money. I keep checking my pockets to make sure the money I carried is still there. I can even get a heart attack when I drop a 20 bob coin without realising it. Due to this, I have always avoided betting.

I have also never considered myself a lucky chap. Nothing in my life has happened to prove that I should be taking more risks and the odds will be in my favour. Bad luck likes me more than good luck so I have always avoided betting.

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I am also not very good at predicting things. I would make a very poor prophet. But I did it anyway.

January was brutal and I’ve been doing everything possible to make sure February runs smoothly. A little extra cash would go a long way. And if I kept it up, maybe I’d be a multi-millionaire soon and actually get a real Latina bae.

Aside from that, I also blame my friend Sam for leading me further into the temptation of gambling. Sam is an expert at betting. Just the other day, he placed Sh100 on one of the betting sites, predicted a number of games, and won a cool Sh16,000.  When he told me about it, I was hooked.

There was a big game coming up on Sunday involving Arsenal and Manchester City. He showed me how in one of the popular sites, the odds of Arsenal beating Manchester City were 12. This meant that if I placed Sh2,000 on Arsenal to win and they ended up victorious, I would walk away with a cool Sh24,000. At least that’s what he told me. Betting experts, was he right?

Twenty-four thousand shillings is a lot of money. I could fly a woman to Diani on Valentine’s Day with that kind of money. I could eat chicken every day for the rest of the month with that kind of money. Chicken Tikka. Chicken Teriyaki, Chicken Choma. You name it.

So I took my hard-earned money and bet with it as I waited for the game. I didn’t waste any time in searching for the best hotels and cottages at the coast. I actually found one that appealed to me. All that was remaining was finding the right girl and booking the hotel.

I was confident that the underdogs Arsenal would pull a David whooping against the Goliath that is Manchester City. It didn’t happen. The gunners staged an artless spectacle and ended up getting thrashed 3-1.

As someone who has been a football fan since I was eight years old, I was ashamed of myself. What made me think Arsenal would win? Poor Arsenal, of all teams. I should have known better. My Sh2,000 was gone just like that.

Maybe I should have started small. I should have placed Sh100 just like Sam. Was I greedy? I don’t think so. I think I am just one of those people who adhere to the phrase ‘you either go big or home.’ I went big and lost. I don’t think I can keep trying. I’ll go crazy. So, let me just head back to my James Bond fantasies. Goodbye betting.



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Sordid tale of the bank ‘that would bribe God’

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Bank of Credit and Commerce International. August 1991. [File, Standard]

“This bank would bribe God.” These words of a former employee of the disgraced Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI) sum up one of the most rotten global financial institutions.
BCCI pitched itself as a top bank for the Third World, but its spectacular collapse would reveal a web of transnational corruption and a playground for dictators, drug lords and terrorists.
It was one of the largest banks cutting across 69 countries and its aftermath would cause despair to innocent depositors, including Kenyans.
BCCI, which had $20 billion (Sh2.1 trillion in today’s exchange rate) assets globally, was revealed to have lost more than its entire capital.
The bank was founded in 1972 by the crafty Pakistani banker Agha Hasan Abedi.
He was loved in his homeland for his charitable acts but would go on to break every rule known to God and man.
In 1991, the Bank of England (BoE) froze its assets, citing large-scale fraud running for several years. This would see the bank cease operations in multiple countries. The Luxembourg-based BCCI was 77 per cent owned by the Gulf Emirate of Abu Dhabi.  
BoE investigations had unearthed laundering of drugs money, terrorism financing and the bank boasted of having high-profile customers such as Panama’s former strongman Manual Noriega as customers.
The Standard, quoting “highly placed” sources reported that Abu Dhabi ruler Sheikh Zayed Sultan would act as guarantor to protect the savings of Kenyan depositors.
The bank had five branches countrywide and panic had gripped depositors on the state of their money.
Central Bank of Kenya (CBK) would then move to appoint a manager to oversee the operations of the BCCI operations in Kenya.
It sent statements assuring depositors that their money was safe.
The Standard reported that the Sheikh would be approaching the Kenyan and other regional subsidiaries of the bank to urge them to maintain operations and assure them of his personal support.
It was said that contact between CBK and Abu Dhabi was “likely.”
This came as the British Ambassador to the UAE Graham Burton implored the gulf state to help compensate Britons, and the Indian government also took similar steps.
The collapse of BCCI was, however, not expect to badly hit the Kenyan banking system. This was during the sleazy 1990s when Kenya’s banking system was badly tested. It was the era of high graft and “political banks,” where the institutions fraudulently lent to firms belonging or connected to politicians, who were sometimes also shareholders.
And even though the impact was expected to be minimal, it was projected that a significant number of depositors would transfer funds from Asian and Arab banks to other local institutions.
“Confidence in Arab banking has taken a serious knock,” the “highly placed” source told The Standard.
BCCI didn’t go down without a fight. It accused the British government of a conspiracy to bring down the Pakistani-run bank.  The Sheikh was said to be furious and would later engage in a protracted legal battle with the British.
“It looks to us like a Western plot to eliminate a successful Muslim-run Third World Bank. We know that it often acted unethically. But that is no excuse for putting it out of business, especially as the Sultan of Abu Dhabi had agreed to a restructuring plan,” said a spokesperson for British Asians.
A CBK statement signed by then-Deputy Governor Wanjohi Murithi said it was keenly monitoring affairs of the mother bank and would go to lengths to protect Kenyan depositors.
“In this respect, the CBK has sought and obtained the assurance of the branch’s management that the interests of depositors are not put at risk by the difficulties facing the parent company and that the bank will meet any withdrawal instructions by depositors in the normal course of business,” said Mr Murithi.
CBK added that it had maintained surveillance of the local branch and was satisfied with its solvency and liquidity.
This was meant to stop Kenyans from making panic withdrawals.
For instance, armed policemen would be deployed at the bank’s Nairobi branch on Koinange Street after the bank had announced it would shut its Kenyan operations.
In Britain, thousands of businesses owned by British Asians were on the verge of financial ruin following the closure of BCCI.
Their firms held almost half of the 120,000 bank accounts registered with BCCI in Britain. 
The African Development Bank was also not spared from this mess, with the bulk of its funds deposited and BCCI and stood to lose every coin.
Criminal culture
In Britain, local authorities from Scotland to the Channel Islands are said to have lost over £100 million (Sh15.2 billion in today’s exchange rate).
The biggest puzzle remained how BCCI was allowed by BoE and other monetary regulation authorities globally to reach such levels of fraudulence.
This was despite the bank being under tight watch owing to the conviction of some of its executives on narcotics laundering charges in the US.
Coast politician, the late Shariff Nassir, would claim that five primary schools in Mombasa lost nearly Sh1 million and appealed to then Education Minister George Saitoti to help recover the savings. Then BoE Governor Robin Leigh-Pemberton condemned it as so deeply immersed in fraud that rescue or recovery – at least in Britain – was out of the question.
“The culture of the bank is criminal,” he said. The bank was revealed to have targeted the Third World and had created several “institutional devices” to promote its operations in developing countries.
These included the Third World Foundation for Social and Economic Studies, a British-registered charity.
“It allowed it to cultivate high-level contacts among international statesmen,” reported The Observer, a British newspaper.
BCCI also arranged an annual Third World lecture and a Third World prize endowment fund of about $10 million (Sh1 billion in today’s exchange rate).
Winners of the annual prize had included Nelson Mandela (1985), sir Bob Geldof (1986) and Archbishop Desmond Tutu (1989).
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Monitor water pumps remotely via your phone

Tracking and monitoring motor vehicles is not new to Kenyans. Competition to install affordable tracking devices is fierce but essential for fleet managers who receive reports online and track vehicles from the comfort of their desk.

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Agricultural Development Corporation Chief Accountant Gerald Karuga on the Spot Over Fraud –

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Gerald Karuga, the acting chief accountant at the Agricultural Development Corporation (ADC), is on the spot over fraud in land dealings.

ADC was established in 1965 through an Act of Parliament Cap 346 to facilitate the land transfer programme from European settlers to locals after Kenya gained independence.

Karuga is under fire for allegedly aiding a former powerful permanent secretary in the KANU era Benjamin Kipkulei to deprive ADC beneficiaries of their land in Naivasha.

Kahawa Tungu understands that the aggrieved parties continue to protest the injustice and are now asking the Ethics and Anti-corruption Commission (EACC) and the Directorate of Criminal Investigations (DCI) to probe Karuga.

A source who spoke to Weekly Citizen publication revealed that Managing Director Mohammed Dulle is also involved in the mess at ADC.

Read: Ministry of Agriculture Apologizes After Sending Out Tweets Portraying the President in bad light

Dulle is accused of sidelining a section of staffers in the parastatal.

The sources at ADC intimated that Karuga has been placed strategically at ADC to safeguard interests of many people who acquired the corporations’ land as “donations” from former President Daniel Arap Moi.

Despite working at ADC for many years Karuga has never been transferred, a trend that has raised eyebrows.

“Karuga has worked here for more than 30 years and unlike other senior officers in other parastatals who are transferred after promotion or moved to different ministries, for him, he has stuck here for all these years and we highly suspect that he is aiding people who were dished out with big chunks of land belonging to the corporation in different parts of the country,” said the source.

In the case of Karuga safeguarding Kipkulei’s interests, workers at the parastatals and the victims who claim to have lost their land in Naivasha revealed that during the Moi regime some senior officials used dubious means to register people as beneficiaries of land without their knowledge and later on colluded with rogue land officials at the Ministry of Lands to acquire title deeds in their names instead of those of the benefactors.

Read Also: Galana Kulalu Irrigation Scheme To Undergo Viability Test Before Being Privatised

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“We have information that Karuga has benefitted much from Kipkulei through helping him and this can be proved by the fact that since the matter of the Naivasha land began, he has been seen changing and buying high-end vehicles that many people of his rank in government can’t afford to buy or maintain,” the source added.

“He is even building a big apartment for rent in Ruiru town.”

The wealthy officer is valued at over Sh1.5 billion in prime properties and real estate.

Last month, more than 100 squatters caused scenes in Naivasha after raiding a private firm owned by Kipkulei.

The squatters, who claimed to have lived on the land for more than 40 years, were protesting take over of the land by a private developer who had allegedly bought the land from the former PS.

They pulled down a three-kilometre fence that the private developed had erected.

The squatters claimed that the former PS had not informed them that he had sold the land and that the developer was spraying harmful chemicals on the grass affecting their livestock and homes built on a section of the land.

Read Also: DP Ruto Wants NCPB And Other Agricultural Bodies Merged For Efficiency

Naivasha Deputy County Commissioner Kisilu Mutua later issued a statement warning the squatters against encroaching on Kipkuleir’s land.

“They are illegally invading private land. We shall not allow the rule of the jungle to take root,” warned Mutua.

Meanwhile, a parliamentary committee recently demanded to know identities of 10 faceless people who grabbed 30,350 acres of land belonging to the parastatal, exposing the rot at the corporation.

ADC Chairman Nick Salat, who doubles up as the KANU party Secretary-General, denied knowledge of the individuals and has asked DCI to probe the matter.

Email your news TIPS to [email protected] or WhatsApp +254708677607. You can also find us on Telegram through www.t.me/kahawatungu

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William Ruto eyes Raila Odinga Nyanza backyard

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Deputy President William Ruto will next month take his ‘hustler nation’ campaigns to his main rival, ODM leader Raila Odinga’s Nyanza backyard, in an escalation of the 2022 General Election competition.

Acrimonious fall-out

Development agenda

Won’t bear fruit

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