If you are reading this. You already have a crush that you want to impress or get closer to. Well, below are guidelines of how to communicate to them and how to make them communicate to you too.
HOW TO CHAT SOMEONE UP
Breathe. We hold our breath when we’re nervous. So take a few deep breaths before making conversation to calm yourself down. It also stops your voice sounding squeaky.
Don’t worry too much about your opening line
People clam up when they see someone they like the look of because they think the first thing out of their mouth has to be witty, charming or dead funny.
It doesn’t. A short ‘Hot isn’t it?’ or ‘Great pub!’ will do the job.
Keep it simple and keep it logical
The best lines are often the obvious. ‘Have you tried the chicken salad?’ while you’re standing in line. ‘Do you know how to work this machine?’ while you’re at the gym. The more ordinary the topic, the better.
Most people don’t take chances, so if you do, he’s likely to be terribly impressed.
Thrust a cold, frosty beer into an unsuspecting male hand while saying, ‘Hi. My name’s Lucy,’ and you’ll stop him in his tracks.
Pretend you’re talking to your best friend
Skip the small talk and clichéd ‘do you come here often?’ stuff and talk about what you normally would. If you’re standing at the bar about to get a drink, say ‘God knows I need this after the day I’ve had!’.
Pretend you’re getting their attention for a friend
We’re a lot braver if we’re doing something for a friend than we are ourselves. What would you say if you wanted to get your friend talking to the person? How would you attract their attention and get them talking?
Give a compliment
Find an excuse to stand near them, then turn to them and say something nice. ‘I love your shirt.’ ‘Where did you get those trainers?’ ‘That’s impressive’ (if they’re lifting weights at the gym). ‘That looks nice, what is it?’ (if they’re ordered food). ‘What breed is your dog? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything cuter in my life.’
Talk about something that’s happened
Brexit might not be the best topic, given how much it polarises people. But something else in the news might have some relevance to where you are. ‘I used to like crowds. Not so much now.’
Introduce yourself quickly, once you’ve broken the ice
Especially if you’re somewhere where they’re likely to leave quickly. Saying your name lets them know you really are trying to chat them up and not just being friendly and chatty.
Once you know their name, use it
Say it three times in the first conversation. Repeating the name of someone you haven’t met before not only shows interest, it makes them feel noticed and important. An added bonus: you’ll actually remember it.
Use ‘we’ as soon as you can
‘Shall we have another drink?’, rather than, ‘Can I get you a drink?’
Linking the two of you conversationally, subliminally plants the idea of linking up in other ways.
Another great word to use…
Including ‘you’ makes people feel you’re talking to them specifically and it pushes the pride button. Use phrases like ‘You would love it’.
Give good face
Popular people have animated faces. Your facial expressions should match what you’re talking about as well as reflect your reaction to what they’re telling you.
A lot of expressions are also infectious: it really is a case of smile and the world smiles with you.
NOW, HOW TO GET SOMEONE TO CHAT TO YOU
Deliberately walk past someone. The more obvious the better.
Move closer. Make it look like there’s a reason for it (a better table, out of the sun, away from the crowd or moving closer to the action – there’s always a reason).
Use the old ‘look-then-look-away’ trick
It’s the best way to let someone know you fancy them without feeling like an idiot if they don’t fancy you. Look at them until they look back, then drop your eyes and smile to yourself. This says, ‘I think you’re cute but I’m too shy to come over.’
Smile at them
If they pick up on it and smile back, great. If they look straight through you, move your glance ever-so-slightly over their shoulder and they’ll think you were smiling at someone else. A smile is a universal, can’t-be-misinterpreted, simplest way to subtly signal ‘I like you and find you attractive.’ A broad smile and four seconds of eye contact is the clearest signal you can send.
Be easy to get to
Make sure they don’t have to wade through a dozen drunk friends to get to you.
If you want to make it clear the person you’re with isn’t your partner, put some space between you and turn your body so it faces the person you’ve got your eye on. Use your eyes to invite people to join you.
The better looking you are, the more work you have to do
This is what people automatically assume when they spot someone drop-dead gorgeous.
He thinks: She’d never be interested in me/Bet her boyfriend’s loaded and great looking/What could I say that she hasn’t heard a thousand times before?
She thinks: Anyone that good-looking has to be stupid/Bet he’s really up himself/Bet he only dates models, he’d never go out with someone like me.
The good-looking person is thinking: Why doesn’t anyone ever talk to me?/Why doesn’t anyone ever ask me out?/What’s wrong with me?
If you’re above average in looks or have something particularly spectacular (a great set of breasts for instance), no-one will come near you unless you make it incredibly obvious you want them to. Very often, you will have to be the person who goes over to talk to them or makes the first move
Singer speaks after attacking lover at WCB signee Zuchu’s star-studded concert
56 minutes ago
On 18 July, there was fanfare at the Mlimani City Hall in Dar es Salaam as WCB signee Zuchu held a thanksgiving concert months after her debut EP, I Am Zuchu. The event dubbed ‘Ahsante Nashukuru’ mainly featured performances by artistes from the WCB stable and attracted the whos-who in the Tanzanian entertainment and political scenes.
However, singer Gigy Money who also performed made the headlines for the wrong reasons after getting into a scuffle with her lover during the much-publicised concert.
READ ALSO: I was bewitched by a friend – Gigy Money
Peaceful arrival, later chaos
Moments earlier, Gigy and her Nigerian man were seen arriving arm in arm at the event whose highlight featured Zuchu receiving a brand new car from WCB head honcho Diamond Platnumz. Donning matching outfits, the couple was spotted on the red carpet as the paparazzi scrambled to capture the moment. However, all hell breaks loose later and viral videos depict the visibly angered Nigerian arguing with a bouncer at the entrance. After a tense confrontation, Gigy’s man is seen being led by the screaming bouncer towards the exit. Shortly after, a similarly irritated Gigy emerges and follows the pair.
“Gigy! Wewe Gigy wewe!” a woman in the background is heard dissuading the singer from pursuing them but the singer pays no heed and heads for the pair.
“You want to beat me?” the boyfriend is heard asking an approaching Gigy as the bouncer acts as a barrier between them. The bouncer manages to steer the incensed man towards the exit as Gigy follows behind, hurling obscenities.
At some point, a barefoot Gigy turns into a sprint before throwing one of her shoes which hits the man who then responds with an insult. Another bouncer finally intervenes and the two are separated. Gigy then asks for her vehicle so she can head home before warning the press against sharing videos of the incident.
Though the cause of their tiff is still unknown Gigy later made reference to the shocking incident in a social media post, hinting that alcohol had a part to play in the fracas. In another post, Gigy shared a photo alongside her estranged lover writing: “My mad man looked handsome before his demons arose and mine arose too.”
‘Running over Ali Kiba’
Gigy is not new controversy and recently said she’d run over her ex, singer Ali Kiba for breaking her heart.
“I will knock all of them down, I mean I will kill them. In fact, I will flatten them like chapatis. The first person I will knock down and kill is Ali Kiba. Actually, I don’t need a weak car, I need a Fuso so that when I knock him down I will be sure he doesn’t survive,” Gigy told Ayo TV.
Dating Kiba brothers
Gigy had in the past admitted to dating both Ali Kiba and his younger brother, Abdu Kiba. She solely laid the blame on Chekecha singer for pursuing her despite knowing that she’d been with his younger brother. Abdu expressed being heartbroken after learning the two had a fling, prompting him to marry.
“I was very hurt on hearing that Ali was dating Gigy Money because I dated her first before she became famous. But it’s alleged that Ali didn’t know. It hurt me for a while till when I married,” said Abdu.
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Why Jahmby Kokai is happy her TV anchor dream never came true
37 minutes ago
Popular media personality Jahmby Koikai narrated how her first attempt at auditioning as a TV host backfired and she was sent home on the first day of the audition. Reliving her prime days, Jahmby narrated how she was determined to follow her dream of becoming a news anchor after completing her degree.
“There was a reality show that was running on one major TV channel here in Kenya, searching for the next top news anchor. I’ve always had the knack for news. At the time, I was working at Metro FM. Walked to my boss and asked him if he was ok with me participating in this competition. He agreed to it.
“Auditions were at Film Studios. The queue stretched all the way to the showground. I was at the back kabisa. Imagine 300 people before you. Then we got the briefing paper and it indicated, ‘no persons with experience in a media house allowed to participate in this audition’. Mimi Jahmby Koikai, nirudi home after watu 300 kukuwa mbele yangu?” she posed.
According to the endometriosis survivor, she went ahead to audition for the position despite the warning and was the first contestant to be sent packing.
“So I stayed in line until I got to the audition room. The judges were a few people I was in campus with. I felt a wave of despair. Like I’m here auditioning, yet my classmates will be judging me? I did my thing and I was considered. We got into the house and we were assigned to different groups. I was the group leader and we won the challenge. Later that evening, we were driven back to Film Studios for a briefing. The presenter of the show said some of us have to go home.
“My name was called out first amongst other great people. We were dropped home. I cried. It felt like I’d lost such a great opportunity. My mom and late grandma were so sad cos they loved to watch me do the news,” she narrated.
Later, Jahmby auditioned for another TV opportunity only to miss out as well.
“Then came another opportunity over 10 years ago, I saw a TV ad and decided to apply for the news anchor position. I didn’t get the job.”
However, due to endometriosis, Jahmby was forced to put her dreams on hold and concentrate on getting better. According to her, it is as though God had better plans for her and is grateful to not have gotten the jobs.
“I battled severe endometriosis in silence for over 19 years. I think of how engaging the newsroom is and I’m grateful I wasn’t in that space. I’d have utilized all my sick-leaves and off-days and just declared redundant.”
There was a reality show that was running on one major TV channel here in Kenya, searching for the next top news anchor. I’ve always had the knack for news. At the time, I was working at Metro Fm. Walked to my boss and asked him if he was ok with me participating in this competition. He agreed to it. Auditions were at Film Studios. The queue stretched all the way to the showground. I was at the back kabisa. Imagine 300 people before you. Then we got the briefing paper and it indicated, ‘no persons with experience in a media house allowed to participate in this audition’. Mimi Jahmby Koikai, nirudi home after watu 300 kukuwa mbele yangu? Nikasema zi. So I stayed in line until I got to the audition room. The judges were a few people I was in campus with. I felt a wave of despair. Like I’m here auditioning, yet my classmates will be judging me? I did my thing and I was considered. We got into the house and we were assigned to different groups. I was the group leader and we won the challenge. Later that evening, we were driven back to Film Studios for a briefing. The presenter of the show said, some of us have to go home. My name was called out first amongst other great people. We were dropped home. I cried. It felt like I’d lost such a great opportunity. My mom and late grandma were so sad cos they loved to watch me do the news. Then came another opportunity over 10years ago, I saw a TV ad and decided to apply for the news anchor position. As you see in this pic, I got my hair done at Ralph’s Hair Salon, new suit etc. I didn’t get the job. After KBC, I never got to anchor the news again. I’m grateful I did not get the job even though I felt dejected at the time. I battled severe Endometriosis in silence for over 19years. I think of how engaging the newsroom is and I’m grateful I wasn’t in that space. I’d have utilised all my sick-leaves and off-days and just declared redundant. There are many people like me who are bound by chronic illness and cannot do the things they love. I share your pain. But there’s hope. I’m grateful to God for His reminder that He will restore to you all the years that the locusts have eaten. Also Jer 29:11