Connect with us


9 lessons from the side chick for ‘Goat Wives’ – Nairobi News




They call themselves “goat wives” on social media. These are the women who are legally married or having been shacking up so long, they are married in the eyes of society. Any woman who dares touch one of their own, by daring to date their men, usually gets the backlash online and is automatically branded a ‘homewrecker’. The goat wives insist they will stay put as long as the man is meeting his financial obligations. Never mind HIV, HPV and a host of other STIs are as real as it gets (but that’s a story for another day.)

We had an interesting conversation with a male colleague, let’s call him Brayo* who was complaining about his friend’s side chick because she was acting like ‘a wife’ and had started nagging him. “She now keeps tabs on my boy and wants to know where he is when not with her or the wife,” complained my friend. Wait… I really hate this ‘wifey box’ men place a woman once she graduates from being girlfriend to wife. But unfortunately, my friend tells me it exists.

“You see, when I go to my clande’s (mistress/side chick) house, she first welcomes me and asks me what I would want to have. In contrast, my wife will not even notice I’ve come home,” narrates Brayo. But, surely, don’t you think you are being selfish as the wife is as tired as you and cannot afford to be a great host every day, I ask? “Don’t you think the mistress is equally tired? What counts is when a woman goes out of her way to minimise the noise and make the home environment conducive. Women should learn a thing or two from the other woman,” he suggests.

Brayo admits that the other woman is not necessarily better than wifey and she most probably will never replace the main woman but she sure keeps the married man coming back by meeting a need the wife isn’t meeting or is too busy to. Clearly, the side chick’s moral compass doesn’t exactly point North but she sure does know a thing or two. Get your notebooks “goat wives” we see how we can beat her at her own game.

1. This girl is fun to hang around
Of course she knows this is a short-lived affair and has learned to make the best of it. She makes sure he feels safe and welcome in her house. She’s always excited to see him. She utilises all her five senses: Touch. Sight. Taste. Hearing. Smell. And ensures the guy is always looking forward to seeing her.

2. She affirms him


She is your one-woman cheering squad. She will encourage you when down and will appreciate and praise when you are winning in life or when you do something for her. She will shower you with compliments. This girl is good for your ego, I tell you.

3. She takes an interest in what he loves
Even if jazz isn’t her preferred genre of music, she will accompany you to that concert. Or she will join the gym to be your partner or even follow a football match. She understands the power of shared hobbies and interests and their potential to bring people closer.

4. She’s no Judge Judy
The man feels safe telling her his darkest secrets, ambitions, fears and desires because she does not judge him and he knows they will not be used against him in future.

5. This girl takes care of her body
She understands that a man is visual and takes her time to work out, do her hair and dress nicely. She understands the power of femininity and ensures she does look beautiful for her man… sorry, your man.

6. She is submissive
Not the doormat type of ‘you are free to do whatever you want with me’ kind. No. She listens keenly, seeking your opinions and making you feel important. She makes you feel needed as she knows that every man wants to feel needed by the woman in his life.

7. She enjoys the simple pleasures of life
She knows she’s on a clock and loves like there’s no tomorrow, literally. She will appreciate the little pleasures he give her and makes sure he know. Since she lives in the moment, he is not bogged down with expectations that he might not be able to fulfil.

8. She’ll rarely reject his sexual advances
She’ll even go the extra mile and initiate intimacy making him feel wanted. She is not also restricted to the four walls of the bedroom and is open to new positions and places. She also shows up dripping of sex appeal in sexy lingerie.

9. Perfect timing
She reads his mood like a book and knows when to ask for favours from him without ambushing and making him see her like a nag.

And before you start with the ‘all men are the same’ speech, when you actually think about it, this woman is just doing exactly what you did in the earlier days of your relationship. When you were open to adventure. Oh, and don’t begin with the ‘we are now parents’ speech either, some of these side chicks have one or two kids too and they still manage to juggle the roles. The side chick has nothing on you. She’s only meeting your man’s needs and his craving for admiration and respect… think about all the history and memories you and hubby have created. You know your hubby in a way she might never know. How does she measure up to that? And anyway, how many men have you heard who actually leave goat wife for side chick?



Sordid tale of the bank ‘that would bribe God’




Bank of Credit and Commerce International. August 1991. [File, Standard]

“This bank would bribe God.” These words of a former employee of the disgraced Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI) sum up one of the most rotten global financial institutions.
BCCI pitched itself as a top bank for the Third World, but its spectacular collapse would reveal a web of transnational corruption and a playground for dictators, drug lords and terrorists.
It was one of the largest banks cutting across 69 countries and its aftermath would cause despair to innocent depositors, including Kenyans.
BCCI, which had $20 billion (Sh2.1 trillion in today’s exchange rate) assets globally, was revealed to have lost more than its entire capital.
The bank was founded in 1972 by the crafty Pakistani banker Agha Hasan Abedi.
He was loved in his homeland for his charitable acts but would go on to break every rule known to God and man.
In 1991, the Bank of England (BoE) froze its assets, citing large-scale fraud running for several years. This would see the bank cease operations in multiple countries. The Luxembourg-based BCCI was 77 per cent owned by the Gulf Emirate of Abu Dhabi.  
BoE investigations had unearthed laundering of drugs money, terrorism financing and the bank boasted of having high-profile customers such as Panama’s former strongman Manual Noriega as customers.
The Standard, quoting “highly placed” sources reported that Abu Dhabi ruler Sheikh Zayed Sultan would act as guarantor to protect the savings of Kenyan depositors.
The bank had five branches countrywide and panic had gripped depositors on the state of their money.
Central Bank of Kenya (CBK) would then move to appoint a manager to oversee the operations of the BCCI operations in Kenya.
It sent statements assuring depositors that their money was safe.
The Standard reported that the Sheikh would be approaching the Kenyan and other regional subsidiaries of the bank to urge them to maintain operations and assure them of his personal support.
It was said that contact between CBK and Abu Dhabi was “likely.”
This came as the British Ambassador to the UAE Graham Burton implored the gulf state to help compensate Britons, and the Indian government also took similar steps.
The collapse of BCCI was, however, not expect to badly hit the Kenyan banking system. This was during the sleazy 1990s when Kenya’s banking system was badly tested. It was the era of high graft and “political banks,” where the institutions fraudulently lent to firms belonging or connected to politicians, who were sometimes also shareholders.
And even though the impact was expected to be minimal, it was projected that a significant number of depositors would transfer funds from Asian and Arab banks to other local institutions.
“Confidence in Arab banking has taken a serious knock,” the “highly placed” source told The Standard.
BCCI didn’t go down without a fight. It accused the British government of a conspiracy to bring down the Pakistani-run bank.  The Sheikh was said to be furious and would later engage in a protracted legal battle with the British.
“It looks to us like a Western plot to eliminate a successful Muslim-run Third World Bank. We know that it often acted unethically. But that is no excuse for putting it out of business, especially as the Sultan of Abu Dhabi had agreed to a restructuring plan,” said a spokesperson for British Asians.
A CBK statement signed by then-Deputy Governor Wanjohi Murithi said it was keenly monitoring affairs of the mother bank and would go to lengths to protect Kenyan depositors.
“In this respect, the CBK has sought and obtained the assurance of the branch’s management that the interests of depositors are not put at risk by the difficulties facing the parent company and that the bank will meet any withdrawal instructions by depositors in the normal course of business,” said Mr Murithi.
CBK added that it had maintained surveillance of the local branch and was satisfied with its solvency and liquidity.
This was meant to stop Kenyans from making panic withdrawals.
For instance, armed policemen would be deployed at the bank’s Nairobi branch on Koinange Street after the bank had announced it would shut its Kenyan operations.
In Britain, thousands of businesses owned by British Asians were on the verge of financial ruin following the closure of BCCI.
Their firms held almost half of the 120,000 bank accounts registered with BCCI in Britain. 
The African Development Bank was also not spared from this mess, with the bulk of its funds deposited and BCCI and stood to lose every coin.
Criminal culture
In Britain, local authorities from Scotland to the Channel Islands are said to have lost over £100 million (Sh15.2 billion in today’s exchange rate).
The biggest puzzle remained how BCCI was allowed by BoE and other monetary regulation authorities globally to reach such levels of fraudulence.
This was despite the bank being under tight watch owing to the conviction of some of its executives on narcotics laundering charges in the US.
Coast politician, the late Shariff Nassir, would claim that five primary schools in Mombasa lost nearly Sh1 million and appealed to then Education Minister George Saitoti to help recover the savings. Then BoE Governor Robin Leigh-Pemberton condemned it as so deeply immersed in fraud that rescue or recovery – at least in Britain – was out of the question.
“The culture of the bank is criminal,” he said. The bank was revealed to have targeted the Third World and had created several “institutional devices” to promote its operations in developing countries.
These included the Third World Foundation for Social and Economic Studies, a British-registered charity.
“It allowed it to cultivate high-level contacts among international statesmen,” reported The Observer, a British newspaper.
BCCI also arranged an annual Third World lecture and a Third World prize endowment fund of about $10 million (Sh1 billion in today’s exchange rate).
Winners of the annual prize had included Nelson Mandela (1985), sir Bob Geldof (1986) and Archbishop Desmond Tutu (1989).
[email protected]    


Monitor water pumps remotely via your phone

Tracking and monitoring motor vehicles is not new to Kenyans. Competition to install affordable tracking devices is fierce but essential for fleet managers who receive reports online and track vehicles from the comfort of their desk.

Continue Reading


Agricultural Development Corporation Chief Accountant Gerald Karuga on the Spot Over Fraud –




Gerald Karuga, the acting chief accountant at the Agricultural Development Corporation (ADC), is on the spot over fraud in land dealings.

ADC was established in 1965 through an Act of Parliament Cap 346 to facilitate the land transfer programme from European settlers to locals after Kenya gained independence.

Karuga is under fire for allegedly aiding a former powerful permanent secretary in the KANU era Benjamin Kipkulei to deprive ADC beneficiaries of their land in Naivasha.

Kahawa Tungu understands that the aggrieved parties continue to protest the injustice and are now asking the Ethics and Anti-corruption Commission (EACC) and the Directorate of Criminal Investigations (DCI) to probe Karuga.

A source who spoke to Weekly Citizen publication revealed that Managing Director Mohammed Dulle is also involved in the mess at ADC.

Read: Ministry of Agriculture Apologizes After Sending Out Tweets Portraying the President in bad light

Dulle is accused of sidelining a section of staffers in the parastatal.

The sources at ADC intimated that Karuga has been placed strategically at ADC to safeguard interests of many people who acquired the corporations’ land as “donations” from former President Daniel Arap Moi.

Despite working at ADC for many years Karuga has never been transferred, a trend that has raised eyebrows.

“Karuga has worked here for more than 30 years and unlike other senior officers in other parastatals who are transferred after promotion or moved to different ministries, for him, he has stuck here for all these years and we highly suspect that he is aiding people who were dished out with big chunks of land belonging to the corporation in different parts of the country,” said the source.

In the case of Karuga safeguarding Kipkulei’s interests, workers at the parastatals and the victims who claim to have lost their land in Naivasha revealed that during the Moi regime some senior officials used dubious means to register people as beneficiaries of land without their knowledge and later on colluded with rogue land officials at the Ministry of Lands to acquire title deeds in their names instead of those of the benefactors.

Read Also: Galana Kulalu Irrigation Scheme To Undergo Viability Test Before Being Privatised


“We have information that Karuga has benefitted much from Kipkulei through helping him and this can be proved by the fact that since the matter of the Naivasha land began, he has been seen changing and buying high-end vehicles that many people of his rank in government can’t afford to buy or maintain,” the source added.

“He is even building a big apartment for rent in Ruiru town.”

The wealthy officer is valued at over Sh1.5 billion in prime properties and real estate.

Last month, more than 100 squatters caused scenes in Naivasha after raiding a private firm owned by Kipkulei.

The squatters, who claimed to have lived on the land for more than 40 years, were protesting take over of the land by a private developer who had allegedly bought the land from the former PS.

They pulled down a three-kilometre fence that the private developed had erected.

The squatters claimed that the former PS had not informed them that he had sold the land and that the developer was spraying harmful chemicals on the grass affecting their livestock and homes built on a section of the land.

Read Also: DP Ruto Wants NCPB And Other Agricultural Bodies Merged For Efficiency

Naivasha Deputy County Commissioner Kisilu Mutua later issued a statement warning the squatters against encroaching on Kipkuleir’s land.

“They are illegally invading private land. We shall not allow the rule of the jungle to take root,” warned Mutua.

Meanwhile, a parliamentary committee recently demanded to know identities of 10 faceless people who grabbed 30,350 acres of land belonging to the parastatal, exposing the rot at the corporation.

ADC Chairman Nick Salat, who doubles up as the KANU party Secretary-General, denied knowledge of the individuals and has asked DCI to probe the matter.

Email your news TIPS to [email protected] or WhatsApp +254708677607. You can also find us on Telegram through

Continue Reading


William Ruto eyes Raila Odinga Nyanza backyard




Deputy President William Ruto will next month take his ‘hustler nation’ campaigns to his main rival, ODM leader Raila Odinga’s Nyanza backyard, in an escalation of the 2022 General Election competition.

Acrimonious fall-out

Development agenda

Won’t bear fruit

Continue Reading


Kenyan Tribune