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6 REASONS TO: Take things slow

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By MARION MAINA
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For the last six months, you have been liking his pictures on social media, laughing at his flat jokes, heck! You even have an entire album on your gallery filled with screenshots of his goofy selfies. Then one day, a notification from Facebook Messenger pops up on your screen. You open your inbox and there it is! You rub your eyes, make sure you are seeing correctly: ‘Hey You’ reads the text from your crush.

Paulo Coelho says in his book The Alchemist: “When you truly want something, all of the universe conspires in helping you get it.” You can testify to Coelho’s words because Mark Zuckerberg, Safaricom Home Fibre, creators of Oppo Phone…the entire universe has come together to facilitate that text from your crush.  A brief chat ensues as your insides play hula-hoop and because Coelho speaks the truth; he asks you out on a date. Bam!

Fast forward to several dates later, you feel this is it. But then you remember that time when you met Brayo, the dark-skinned guy with pink lips and a beard.

You were 19 and oh-so-in-love. A few months of seeing each other and you realised that Brayo was not all that and a cherry on top. He just happened to be well acquainted with lip gloss, thus the lush lips that drew you to him in the first place.

The deal breaker for you was that couldn’t spell and took great pride in his detest for books. Your sapiophillic self could not live with that.  

It is the memory of Brayo that makes you wonder if you   need to take things slow with your new boo. Well, relationship experts, psychologists, spiritual leaders, your girlfriends (the ones who have seen you fall in love a hundred times) and even your mother (obviously), all think that you should take it slow and here’s why:

It gives you time to become good friends.If you proceed with the relationship after being friends for a while you can be assured of a strong foundation. If things don’t head that direction, you will have one more friend in your circle. It is win-win and you will skip that tangled mess where one party feels like they were being taken for a ride.  Michael Bolton puts it better when he sings “How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends?”

It allows you to objectively evaluate your compatibility.The moment we tie ourselves to someone, we tend to lose some objectivity because we do not want to ruin the relationship.

You may find yourself altering some of your natural behaviour to suite your partners. This may work for a while, but we all know leopards cannot hide their spots.

You are more likely to be yourself when there is no rush to nail the relationship, and so is he. In this state of being yourselves, you can predict whether this is someone you want to build a relationship with based on their unaltered personality.

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It discourages moving in and unplanned marriages.A friend of mine had me doubling over with laughter when he admitted that he had no idea he was married until his “friend” announced that she was seven months pregnant. After receiving the news, he looked around the house and noticed that her clothes and stuff were all over, as if scales fell off his eyes making him see. He says she used to come over often but he didn’t realise that she had actually moved in. They are happily married now, so it did work out after all.

Moving too fast may scare your crush off.  You are probably thinking: Good riddance then! If he can run off because I came on a tad too strong, I do not need that negativity in my life right now. I used to think the same a while back until someone shared with me on the importance of tolerance. You see, we are all wired differently.

Some people take the bull by its horn while others turn around and let the bull be. Maybe they fear the horns may injure them because horns are really sharp.

When the interest for a relationship is mutual for both of you but one partner seems a bit hesitant, it will cost the other nothing to take things slow and allow the other partner to gradually grow into the relationship. If my crush proposed to me this evening, I would say yes, no doubts about that. But we cannot all be that spontaneous, the world would topple over!

It can save you from numerous heartbreaks or losing faith in love.Sometimes I look at relationships as a sweet indulgence, like eating an avocado.

If you have a sacksful of avocados and keep cutting up one after the other without waiting for them to ripen, guess what?  You will feel so disappointed and if you insist on eating it, it will taste so bad that you will end up hating avocados.

When you keep jumping from one ill-fitting relationship to another, your heart will not only be broken repeatedly, but also, your faith in love and romance might be shaken. Take your time sis, even if he breaks your heart eventually, you will have wonderful memories if you took your time to make them.

Taking things slow helps you focus on yourself.My mother tells me that once I get into a relationship leading to marriage, my time will no longer be all mine. It will be one more person to worry about, to feed and to check in on.

As you are in this stage of casual chats and occasional day time dates, of mild flirting and outdoor activities, take this time to focus on other aspects of your life.

These can be work, school, friends, dreams, what you want in a relationship, where you want to live etc.  The “taking it slow” slow window doesn’t last forever you know.



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General

Sordid tale of the bank ‘that would bribe God’

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Bank of Credit and Commerce International. August 1991. [File, Standard]

“This bank would bribe God.” These words of a former employee of the disgraced Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI) sum up one of the most rotten global financial institutions.
BCCI pitched itself as a top bank for the Third World, but its spectacular collapse would reveal a web of transnational corruption and a playground for dictators, drug lords and terrorists.
It was one of the largest banks cutting across 69 countries and its aftermath would cause despair to innocent depositors, including Kenyans.
BCCI, which had $20 billion (Sh2.1 trillion in today’s exchange rate) assets globally, was revealed to have lost more than its entire capital.
The bank was founded in 1972 by the crafty Pakistani banker Agha Hasan Abedi.
He was loved in his homeland for his charitable acts but would go on to break every rule known to God and man.
In 1991, the Bank of England (BoE) froze its assets, citing large-scale fraud running for several years. This would see the bank cease operations in multiple countries. The Luxembourg-based BCCI was 77 per cent owned by the Gulf Emirate of Abu Dhabi.  
BoE investigations had unearthed laundering of drugs money, terrorism financing and the bank boasted of having high-profile customers such as Panama’s former strongman Manual Noriega as customers.
The Standard, quoting “highly placed” sources reported that Abu Dhabi ruler Sheikh Zayed Sultan would act as guarantor to protect the savings of Kenyan depositors.
The bank had five branches countrywide and panic had gripped depositors on the state of their money.
Central Bank of Kenya (CBK) would then move to appoint a manager to oversee the operations of the BCCI operations in Kenya.
It sent statements assuring depositors that their money was safe.
The Standard reported that the Sheikh would be approaching the Kenyan and other regional subsidiaries of the bank to urge them to maintain operations and assure them of his personal support.
It was said that contact between CBK and Abu Dhabi was “likely.”
This came as the British Ambassador to the UAE Graham Burton implored the gulf state to help compensate Britons, and the Indian government also took similar steps.
The collapse of BCCI was, however, not expect to badly hit the Kenyan banking system. This was during the sleazy 1990s when Kenya’s banking system was badly tested. It was the era of high graft and “political banks,” where the institutions fraudulently lent to firms belonging or connected to politicians, who were sometimes also shareholders.
And even though the impact was expected to be minimal, it was projected that a significant number of depositors would transfer funds from Asian and Arab banks to other local institutions.
“Confidence in Arab banking has taken a serious knock,” the “highly placed” source told The Standard.
BCCI didn’t go down without a fight. It accused the British government of a conspiracy to bring down the Pakistani-run bank.  The Sheikh was said to be furious and would later engage in a protracted legal battle with the British.
“It looks to us like a Western plot to eliminate a successful Muslim-run Third World Bank. We know that it often acted unethically. But that is no excuse for putting it out of business, especially as the Sultan of Abu Dhabi had agreed to a restructuring plan,” said a spokesperson for British Asians.
A CBK statement signed by then-Deputy Governor Wanjohi Murithi said it was keenly monitoring affairs of the mother bank and would go to lengths to protect Kenyan depositors.
“In this respect, the CBK has sought and obtained the assurance of the branch’s management that the interests of depositors are not put at risk by the difficulties facing the parent company and that the bank will meet any withdrawal instructions by depositors in the normal course of business,” said Mr Murithi.
CBK added that it had maintained surveillance of the local branch and was satisfied with its solvency and liquidity.
This was meant to stop Kenyans from making panic withdrawals.
For instance, armed policemen would be deployed at the bank’s Nairobi branch on Koinange Street after the bank had announced it would shut its Kenyan operations.
In Britain, thousands of businesses owned by British Asians were on the verge of financial ruin following the closure of BCCI.
Their firms held almost half of the 120,000 bank accounts registered with BCCI in Britain. 
The African Development Bank was also not spared from this mess, with the bulk of its funds deposited and BCCI and stood to lose every coin.
Criminal culture
In Britain, local authorities from Scotland to the Channel Islands are said to have lost over £100 million (Sh15.2 billion in today’s exchange rate).
The biggest puzzle remained how BCCI was allowed by BoE and other monetary regulation authorities globally to reach such levels of fraudulence.
This was despite the bank being under tight watch owing to the conviction of some of its executives on narcotics laundering charges in the US.
Coast politician, the late Shariff Nassir, would claim that five primary schools in Mombasa lost nearly Sh1 million and appealed to then Education Minister George Saitoti to help recover the savings. Then BoE Governor Robin Leigh-Pemberton condemned it as so deeply immersed in fraud that rescue or recovery – at least in Britain – was out of the question.
“The culture of the bank is criminal,” he said. The bank was revealed to have targeted the Third World and had created several “institutional devices” to promote its operations in developing countries.
These included the Third World Foundation for Social and Economic Studies, a British-registered charity.
“It allowed it to cultivate high-level contacts among international statesmen,” reported The Observer, a British newspaper.
BCCI also arranged an annual Third World lecture and a Third World prize endowment fund of about $10 million (Sh1 billion in today’s exchange rate).
Winners of the annual prize had included Nelson Mandela (1985), sir Bob Geldof (1986) and Archbishop Desmond Tutu (1989).
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Monitor water pumps remotely via your phone

Tracking and monitoring motor vehicles is not new to Kenyans. Competition to install affordable tracking devices is fierce but essential for fleet managers who receive reports online and track vehicles from the comfort of their desk.

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Agricultural Development Corporation Chief Accountant Gerald Karuga on the Spot Over Fraud –

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Gerald Karuga, the acting chief accountant at the Agricultural Development Corporation (ADC), is on the spot over fraud in land dealings.

ADC was established in 1965 through an Act of Parliament Cap 346 to facilitate the land transfer programme from European settlers to locals after Kenya gained independence.

Karuga is under fire for allegedly aiding a former powerful permanent secretary in the KANU era Benjamin Kipkulei to deprive ADC beneficiaries of their land in Naivasha.

Kahawa Tungu understands that the aggrieved parties continue to protest the injustice and are now asking the Ethics and Anti-corruption Commission (EACC) and the Directorate of Criminal Investigations (DCI) to probe Karuga.

A source who spoke to Weekly Citizen publication revealed that Managing Director Mohammed Dulle is also involved in the mess at ADC.

Read: Ministry of Agriculture Apologizes After Sending Out Tweets Portraying the President in bad light

Dulle is accused of sidelining a section of staffers in the parastatal.

The sources at ADC intimated that Karuga has been placed strategically at ADC to safeguard interests of many people who acquired the corporations’ land as “donations” from former President Daniel Arap Moi.

Despite working at ADC for many years Karuga has never been transferred, a trend that has raised eyebrows.

“Karuga has worked here for more than 30 years and unlike other senior officers in other parastatals who are transferred after promotion or moved to different ministries, for him, he has stuck here for all these years and we highly suspect that he is aiding people who were dished out with big chunks of land belonging to the corporation in different parts of the country,” said the source.

In the case of Karuga safeguarding Kipkulei’s interests, workers at the parastatals and the victims who claim to have lost their land in Naivasha revealed that during the Moi regime some senior officials used dubious means to register people as beneficiaries of land without their knowledge and later on colluded with rogue land officials at the Ministry of Lands to acquire title deeds in their names instead of those of the benefactors.

Read Also: Galana Kulalu Irrigation Scheme To Undergo Viability Test Before Being Privatised

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“We have information that Karuga has benefitted much from Kipkulei through helping him and this can be proved by the fact that since the matter of the Naivasha land began, he has been seen changing and buying high-end vehicles that many people of his rank in government can’t afford to buy or maintain,” the source added.

“He is even building a big apartment for rent in Ruiru town.”

The wealthy officer is valued at over Sh1.5 billion in prime properties and real estate.

Last month, more than 100 squatters caused scenes in Naivasha after raiding a private firm owned by Kipkulei.

The squatters, who claimed to have lived on the land for more than 40 years, were protesting take over of the land by a private developer who had allegedly bought the land from the former PS.

They pulled down a three-kilometre fence that the private developed had erected.

The squatters claimed that the former PS had not informed them that he had sold the land and that the developer was spraying harmful chemicals on the grass affecting their livestock and homes built on a section of the land.

Read Also: DP Ruto Wants NCPB And Other Agricultural Bodies Merged For Efficiency

Naivasha Deputy County Commissioner Kisilu Mutua later issued a statement warning the squatters against encroaching on Kipkuleir’s land.

“They are illegally invading private land. We shall not allow the rule of the jungle to take root,” warned Mutua.

Meanwhile, a parliamentary committee recently demanded to know identities of 10 faceless people who grabbed 30,350 acres of land belonging to the parastatal, exposing the rot at the corporation.

ADC Chairman Nick Salat, who doubles up as the KANU party Secretary-General, denied knowledge of the individuals and has asked DCI to probe the matter.

Email your news TIPS to [email protected] or WhatsApp +254708677607. You can also find us on Telegram through www.t.me/kahawatungu

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William Ruto eyes Raila Odinga Nyanza backyard

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Deputy President William Ruto will next month take his ‘hustler nation’ campaigns to his main rival, ODM leader Raila Odinga’s Nyanza backyard, in an escalation of the 2022 General Election competition.

Acrimonious fall-out

Development agenda

Won’t bear fruit

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